I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
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