Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Is it because I queefed?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
