remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
