Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
