i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
This is my gift to your gina
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
