I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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