I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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