I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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