she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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