i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
