So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
The best revenge is premature balding
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
