I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
