you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
