How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize