You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
