Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize