Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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