you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
