Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We have so much sex to catch up on
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
