we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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