i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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