I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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