No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I smell like Dick and happiness
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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