She's JV to your varsity
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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