We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
