when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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