there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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