you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize