i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Its about making memories worth repressing
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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