He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
