this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
