I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
