no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Farmville is her only friend.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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