He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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