Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
