There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
