I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize