I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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