So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
