I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you win again, gameday.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
