im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
