Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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