if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
