loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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