I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
