your thong is hanging out like whoa
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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