Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
