i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
