Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
