I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
