Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
