this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i think i just lost a toe
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
