Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Randomize
