My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
